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I am the very model of a modern Major-General, I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral, I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical, From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical; I 'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse; With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse; With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypote- potenuse. I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General I know our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's I answer hard acrostics, I've a pretty taste for paradox, I quote in elegaic all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics I can floor peculiarities parabolous. I can tell undoubted Raphaels from Gerard Dows and Zoffanies, I know the coaking chorus from the Frogs of Aristophanes, Then I can hum a fugue of which I've heard the music's din afore, And whistle all the airs from that infernal nonsense Pinafore. And whistle all the airs, etc. Then I can write a washing bill in Babylonic cuneiform, And tell you every detail of Caractacus's uniform; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General In fact, when I know what is meant by 'mamelon' and 'ravelin,' When I can tell at sight a Mauser rifle from a javelin, When such affairs as sorties and surprises I'm more wary at, And when I know precisely what is meant by 'commissariat,' When I have learnt what progress has been made in modern gunnery, When I know more of tactics than a novice in a nunnery; In short, when I've a smattering of elemental strategy, You'll say a better Major-General had never sat a gee. - You'll say a better, etc. For my military knowledge, though I'm plucky and adventury, Has only been brought down to the beginning of the century; But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. But still, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, He is the very model of a modern Major-General! |